I didn't get the memo

It's weird having a baby earlier than expected. I don't feel like I ever really had a chance to "part" with my pregnancy. It's been 2 1/2 weeks and I still find myself thinking I'm pregnant. I was getting in the car the other day and as I tried to put the keys into the ignition I dropped them. Oh, GREAT! I prepared to open the door, and actually get out of the car to get the keys in order to avoid smashing the poor baby in my belly. Oh, right, I'm not pregnant anymore. That's right, I can lie on my back now. At Subway I was grumbling as I looked over my options wondering what to order when I remembered "Oh yes! I can eat turkey again without putting it in the microwave first!" And the most superficial reasons of course - I had "saved up" some maternity shirts and set them aside to wear at the end of my pregnancy. It seems like I always wore the same clothes, and I had some shirts that I was so excited to wear when I was at my biggest. Now they're just hanging in my closet, never worn, and maybe never to be worn again. (by me) I had my fair share of complaints about being pregnant. My hips felt like they could crumble at any moment. I literally tried to remember if I had ever heard of a pregnant woman breaking her hips or having them crumble and I was happy that I couldn't recall ever hearing such a thing. It gave me hope mine wouldn't either. Overall, I had a great pregnancy. I was healthy, my blood pressure was great, the baby was never in distress. I was very fortunate. And I enjoyed many parts of it. I loved feeling him move. I loved the idea that I had a life actually developing and growing inside my body. A sense of empowerment. Pride. And now all of a sudden it's over. It's strange. Maybe I felt this way with Will also, I just don't remember. After all, we spend over 9 months carrying a baby and consuming things and doing things while always thinking of the baby in our body first. And now this body is just mine again. Only me here. Maybe these are some feelings of loneliness?

Most importantly, more important than these silly feelings, we are so fortunate, feel so very blessed, and I thank God every day that our little boy was born big and healthy even though he was early.