I knew it was coming...

(this is long and boring but I needed to write about it for therapeutic reasons)

Dane is 6 weeks old and for the most part I feel like I've handled the transition from 1 to 2 pretty well. I had a lot of help at the beginning - Luke for the first week, my mom for the second, and Sandy for the 3rd. Then with Luke back to work (and I mean REALLY back to work - out of the state for the entire week) it has been just Will, Dane and I all week long until blessed Friday when Daddy comes home. People have asked me how things are going during the week and I've been hesitant to say it, but really well! I always knock on wood when I say it. And a few times I've caught myself thinking "wow - this isn't bad at all, I've got it down!" But then I stop myself because I've learned the hard way that every time I feel all full of myself I quickly get knocked back down to reality in an unpleasant way...

Anyway, today was the day that I knew was long overdue. I needed to run a new set of plans up to the bank, which is about 20 minutes away. Running a quick errand is no longer just hopping in the car and heading out. I think it took me about 2 1/2 hours to get out of the house. Granted, I showered and, gasp, washed my hair, but still. It was like clockwork, once one task was finished someone pooped, or started crying, or was hungry, or spit up and needed a new outfit, or I had to go to the bathroom, or the phone was ringing, or the dog needed to go out. I could keep going. While we were out I grabbed Will's lunch at McDonalds and of course they gave him a cheeseburger which he refused to touch instead of his beloved chicken nuggets. I hate to be one of those people who checks their order before driving away but I'm seriously considering it. With the baby crying there was no way I was getting back in the line that wrapped around the building or going inside. Sorry Will. He had to settle for some homemade nuggets once we got home.

After naptime (God bless naptime!!) I decided we needed to head outside to play. I think it was about 90 out with 200% humidity, and I was dripping sweat while sitting in the shade. I needed to change Will's diaper and went to the drawer to grab one - the last one. I checked the bottom drawer - no. I checked the car - no. I checked our stash in the garage - no. I checked the diaper bag - 1. Great. An impromptu trip to Wally World. The day came to a head when we arrived back home. Dane had been screaming the entire car ride home and was still going full force. Will decided that he didn't want to come in the house. He was clutching his package of Pull-Ups and standing on the back porch crying and refusing to come any further. I dropped our bags in the kitchen and immediately started warming up some milk for Dane. I quickly surveyed the kitchen and realized the sink was full of dishes, the counters were covered with mail and recycling that needed to be taken out. There were toys all over the floor and the kitchen table was covered with leftovers of bags that I had emptied and had yet to put the contents away. Dane was still screaming and I'm impatiently waiting for his milk to get warm when Will decides this is the perfect time to insist he needs to go pee pee outside. Since we are on the brink of beginning potty training I knew I needed to take him. Outside we went. I strip off his pants and he is standing there smiling at me and pointing out the tractor across the road making hay bales. I called his bluff and we rush back inside. It's amazing how much more chaotic everything can seem with a wailing baby. Will then decides to treat himself to a can of root beer, and for the 2nd time this week drops it on the floor and it explodes and sprays all over the kitchen. Thank goodness my sweet sister in law Terri comes over about this time. I think she thought I might be on the verge of some sort of breakdown. She took Will down to his Pa-Paw's to play for a while so I could have a little break. I was finally able to restore some relative peace and order in the Payton household. Now I'm ready for bed and can't wait to rest my aching back and burning eyelids. Whew. What a day.

Dane is 6 weeks old today!

Great Weekend!

Our biggest news is that Will pee pee'd outside! We have known Will is capable of peeing in the potty and could probably be full on potty trained if he wanted to for some time now. Alas, he doesn't want to. I'm convinced he would be happy wearing diapers forever. Wet and dirty diapers don't bother him in the least. He still has never even sat on the potty without his diaper on. Yet, he will potty in the shower on command regularly. Therefore, it was a HUGE deal when this weekend, after a day of playing with his big cousins Landon and Payton, that he tried to pee outside with Payton. It didn't happen, but he was convinced this was now something he wanted to accomplish. After everyone had left he marched to the front of the shop in the gravel and peed! Luke, Sonny and I all cheered him on and he was so proud! He finally got to have some of the giant sized smartees that have been prominently displayed on the kitchen shelf for this very occasion. Yay Will! Now we shall see if it happens again.

Also this weekend Luke and I got to go out to dinner just the two of us to celebrate our anniversary. Ahh, it was wonderful! We left the boys with my mom and went to Malibu Grill for just under 2 very short hours. It was fantastic. I was looking at my menu (anxiously awaiting the arrival of my glass of wine!) and I told Luke that I could just sit there forever. I didn't want to move a muscle. Nobody was yelling at me or nursing on me. It was great.

Please come back!!

I'm not sure what happened to my boys. My sweet boys. It seems they are gone and have been replaced with... well... different ones. Will's horns are at full mast. Everything I ask him to do is immediately followed by a "no" then a "because why?" When I tell him either "because I asked you to" or whatever my response is, he usually responds with a "I. don't. want. to. xyz" When I ask him to stop an unfavorable behavior (for example, screeching in his brother's face) he gets said behavior in one last time before he quits. I feel like I'm constantly telling him to "stop" "no" "don't do that honey" and I hate it. This afternoon Will decided to give his brother some attention... And by attention I mean tickling him, and by tickling him I mean poking him repeatedly on the chest. I finally said "ok, that's enough honey" and he decided Dane needed a kiss before he left him. So he proceeds to kiss him on the forehead/eye and as he is pulling away from him, there's a big snot string connecting Will's runny nose and Dane's poor eyelid.

My other little angel - Dane. I think he spoiled me from the get-go because he has been such a wonderful baby. These days he, as my mom accurately put it, needs to either be sleeping or sucking. If he's awake he wants full on attention, and usually holding him is not sufficient. He must be bounced or pacified in some way. He still hasn't figured out how to keep that darn pacifier in his mouth by himself so if I could just grow another arm to devote to keeping it in there my life would be much easier.

All my frustrations are immediately put to rest when I can take a breath and remind myself that this is just part of it and it too, shall pass. I took one of those moments this evening after a day of mayhem when a song I love came on. I was holding Dane (rather, holding the pacifier in his mouth) and Will was in his room. I closed my eyes and focused on the song and went to my happy place. Will rounded the corner, coming out of his room with his loudest truck that POPS with every turn of the wheels. I told him "don't even think about it!" and went back to my happy place.

And then of course when I was putting Will to bed I brought Dane in with us and laid him next to his big brother. I read them a story and Will held Dane's hand the whole time and then kissed him sweetly on the forehead. Those are the moments that make all the madness 150% worth it. So even if my little angels have gone MIA for the moment I know they will be back.

Getting brave!!! For the first time last night I gave both boys a bath/shower at the same time. It saved time and they both liked it. I think I will attempt this again.


Dane was napping today and had his arms out like this. He looked like a little bear - RARR!

4 Years Ago

4 years ago today Luke and I got married under a giant oak tree. May 20, 2006 was the happiest day of my life. I know, I have 2 children and shouldn't the days they were born rank as the happiest? The days that Will and Dane were born were definitely the most unbelievable, divine and incredible days of my life. But the day I married Luke was by far, the happiest. I have never been happier than I was that day. It was a perfect day because I knew from the bottom of my heart that I was marrying the right person for me. Four years later, I feel the exact same way. We were so fortunate, so madly in love, and so happy to celebrate our marriage with the support and love of our families and friends who shared that day with us.

Sometimes I find myself reflecting on the crazy path my life has taken. I have to admit that my life definitely took an unexpected turn in January of 2005, when I met Luke - and I thank God that my life didn't turn out like I had expected. Often when I'm taking the boys on a walk I will close my eyes, take a deep breath and inhale the fresh air. I will look around at this beautiful land we live on and know that I'm exactly where I am supposed to be. In life, in love, in my marriage, and as a mother.

How thoughtful!

I found early on that Dane is a very lazy nurser. He will eat for 20-40 minutes and then promptly fall asleep. He sleeps blissfully for a short period of time and then wakes up starved and furious. This made for a round-the-clock nursing marathon that just wasn't working out. I really wanted to continue to breastfeed him and would love to make it to 6 months like I did with Will. Unfortunately I had to make the choice to pump and bottle feed him for now in order to save my sanity and any sort of time for Will. I do still nurse him during the night. This method is a little more tricky, and makes for lots of dishes. I have hope that as he gets older he might get better at staying awake and we can go back, but this is our routine for now.

Will sees me pump 5 times each day. Today he decided to relieve me of my pumping duties and take care of it himself. He even brought the resulting "product" over to Dane and offered him a meal!

Not that sweet little nose!!

Yesterday Will, Dane and I went for a walk. We got home a little bit before 6 and the baby was hungry. I have been pumping and bottle feeding him (another story - but all he wants to do when I nurse him is sleep, which makes for long and frequent feedings. And that becomes difficult with a 2 - almost 3 year old to take care of as well.) Anyway, I was getting Dane's bottle ready and Will was playing on the stroller. We have a Bob Jogger stroller which I LOVE; we have gotten so much use out of it. It's a 3-wheeled stroller and Will climbed in it on his hands and knees. Next thing I know I hear a scream. As a mother I have become accustomed to all sorts of different screams and cries. When I heard this particular scream my heart literally stopped because I knew that scream - it meant something was seriously wrong. I whipped around and to my horror, I see that the stroller had tipped backwards, Will was face down on our tile floor with his hands at his sides and the handlebar was across the back of his head pinning him down. He had crawled to the back of the stroller and peeked his head out underneath a flap that hangs down when the seat is reclined. As the stroller tipped back he had fallen about 2 feet face first onto our tile floor. I ran over to him and as I lifted him up I was terrified to see what his face looked like. His nose was immediately swollen and bleeding. I picked him up in one arm and had the baby in my other. I ran us all to the bathroom, grabbing my phone on the way. Luke was sleeping at his dad's house because he had worked all night the night before. I called him and thru both boys screaming told him to COME HOME. I eventually got us to the couch, was holding Will and trying to calm him down while feeding the baby with my other hand. I also got some frozen berries from the freezer and was trying to ice his nose but he wasn't having any of that. After what seemed like an hour Luke finally got home and we decided this was definitely worthy of a trip to the ER. We also decided that the baby had no business sitting around in the ER especially since you never know how long it's going to take. This was the first time (of many to come, I'm sure) that I was so very torn between my boys. I knew the best thing to do was for me to stay at home with the baby and for Luke to take Will to the hospital. But all I wanted to do was be with my "baby" and take care of him. I packed Will a "things to do" bag and waited until they were headed to the door and then let the tears flow. At the ER they wanted to do a cat scan but Will wasn't having it. They determined that he had broken his nose, straight on. That means that it's not crooked, so it didn't have to be adjusted. They also determined that he hadn't cracked his eye socket bone or else there would have been blood pooling which there was not. They were pretty confident that a broken nose was the only damage, so fortunately they decided that they would not need to restrain him to do a cat scan. After hearing that was a possibility (restraining him) I was actually glad Luke was there with him because I know I would have been a wreck if I would have had to watch him be restrained like that. Anyway, after a new truck, 2 grape popsicles, a coloring book and some other fun things, they were headed home - but not without a stop for an ice cream dinner first.

During the night I woke him up every 3-4 hours to make sure he was coherent and not confused, vomiting, etc. which would indicate a concussion. Today we followed up with a visit to his pediatrician who said the same thing - likely just a broken nose. He said that in young kids the nose is mostly cartilage and will probably heal just fine. I hope so - I don't want him to have the broken nose bump like his Momma.

Will was so brave. After he calmed down when it first happened he didn't really get upset about it at all unless someone was trying to touch it. He has a little bruising on his nose in a few different places and it is still really swollen. He will likely get more bruising and possibly two black eyes. He also has a knot on his forehead that will probably bruise as well. This is Will's 2nd trip to the ER - the first being when he bit (almost all the way through) his tongue when we were in Florida. And like usual, he amazed me at how brave he his. He sure is a tough little guy.

Enjoying some time on the floor together. I'm pretty sure Dane smiled at Will. Regardless, he was keeping a close eye on him. Could be because Will insisted on crawling circles around him and he was scared for his life.
I took this picture of Dane in the mirror he looked so sweet when I had him in a sling. And it might as well be a picture of Will! Dane is beginning to really look like Will did - I think.

Will's Future Career

I have always predicted that Will was going to be an engineer when he grows up - he loves to see how things work and will concentrate on a single thing forever it seems like. He's so smart. Well, now I'm afraid he might have a career in sales. Sometimes he absolutely will not take no for an answer. Last night he had a bowl of corn nuts (random I know - thanks Daddy) and he came over to me and said "You want a corn nut?" I replied No thanks. He said: "NO, coorn nut." I said No honey, but thank you! Will: "NO! CORRRRN Nut" as he inches closer to me. I say "I know, Will. And no, I don't want one!" as he tries to shove one in my mouth anyway.

While I've been typing this post he climbed up behind me on the chair with his drill. He asked if he could drill my hair and I told him yes if he was easy. He started drilling and immediately my hair began wrapping around the drill bit. I told him to stop and he looked at me and then said "Want me to get my hammer instead?"

Payton Vegetation

This is the trellace that Luke built for me for my very first Mother's Day in 2008. Our climbing hydrangia vine is really looking great this year! You can't even see the "P" in the center very well anymore. I love my trellace.
Our grape arbor - last year it produced about 7 extremely sour grapes. Disclaimer: it's possible that I just picked them too early. Luke and Sonny happened upon another couple of grapes a few weeks later and claimed they were excellent. Well this year we have a TON of little mini grapes. It looks like we may just have an abundance of them this year. Hopefully they will taste a little better.

Will loves to sleep with his new brother! In his bed...

In Momma and Daddy's bed...

And on the couch with Daddy. I love my sweet boys!

Fly little birdies

For the past couple of years we've had baby birds on a ledge under our front (side) porch roof. This year apparently Mama Bird was tired of her old nest and she built a new one - which means now they have a double-wide nest! Lucky little birds. I took this picture a week or two ago. Today we went to look at them and two of them were already gone. And the remaining two are looking pretty brave! I think today is the day.

Sleepy boy - he had just had a bath and his hair looks curly!

First bath - he hated every moment of it!

Ah, the joys

It's a joyous time in the Payton household these days. Others might describe it as challenging... or frustrating - especially Will. He is handling things really well but has had some moments that really display his level of intelligence, wit and colorful personality quite well. He has been testing his limits to see just how far Momma and Daddy can be pushed.

We were outside the other day and he was doing something he wasn't supposed to. I told him that if he did it one more time we were going to have to go inside. Because he loves being outside maybe more than life itself I was sure this would stop the behavior immediately. But MY son's response? After a thoughtful look, he said "Are you going inside too?" Me: "Yes" Will: "What are we going to do inside?" And so went the line of questioning that completely defeated my surefire consequence.

Example 2: He was playing on the floor with tractors and kept running the tractors into the dog. Of course the dog responded with a growl and if there's one thing I can't stand it's Will tormenting the dog and the dog growling. After a few warnings I told him that if he did it again I was going to take away his beloved tractors. His response? "What are you going to do with them? Are you going to throw them away?" Me: "No I'm going to put them somewhere that you can't get them." Will: "Where? On the table?" Me: "No" Will: "Where? On the counter?" etc. etc.

My most proud parenting moment to date came the other evening. We had just finished up dinner and I had the baby on my lap, Luke was cleaning up the dishes and Will's colorful personality was in full swing. He was making this sound that I can only describe as a robot sound and moving his hands in slow motion and putting them around the baby's head. I told him that we had to be really careful because the baby's head isn't hard like ours but it's really fragile. He did it again. For some reason I decided to forego the usual "1, 2, 3, timeout" tactic and instead I just asked him to please stop. He did it again. I said Honey PLEASE. I've asked you to stop doing that. He does it again. I say WILL do not do that again. Alas, he does it again. I say WILL, DO IT ONE MORE TIME I DARE YOU. He retracted his hands, slowly backed away, and left the room. A few moments later I said to Luke "Did I really just dare our son to do something?" He laughed and said that he wasn't going to say anything unless I double dog dared him.